Finally Updating.

I haven't updated in awhile. My Sunday updates went out the window when my weight loss stopped and I started having trouble with depression. I am still pretty depressed and really that is all I am currently trying to fix. I haven't been weighing myself, I have been using the derma roller but it is way too soon to see any difference. I am journaling and reading a lot and just trying to stay positive.

Using the derma roller is pretty painless and simple. The only place it causes discomfort for me is on my upper chest and neck area, so that is better than I expected. It does take me a long time to use it though. It was taking me over an hour to do my whole body (besides my back of course). Using the Bio Oil is the same story. It takes awhile to apply it, must be done both morning and night, and it isn't lasting very long. I was hoping since it was oil, the 4 oz bottle would last me at least a month, but my skin sucks it up. I will have to purchase a 4 oz bottle about every 2 weeks. I have noticed that my skin has vastly improved in softness since using the Bio Oil, so I expect it to work well with continued use.

I won't be weighing myself this week at all. I will do a regular update next Sunday. Hopefully by then I will have lost some weight, but if not then no-sweat. Reading more about the benefits of going low-carb makes it very worthwhile, even if I never lost another pound (though I really hope I lose more!, lol).

I broke down and bought a few things for fun. I bought some gel pens to make journaling more fun and colorful (silly how that is so mood boosting) and an ice-tea brewer. I have 4 unopened boxes of lose tea that need using. I really love iced-tea, but really suck at making it. I always used the Lipton's instant, but it seems like they don't even make it anymore. The Nestea instant is disgusting, and I can't seem to get bagged or lose tea to come out strong enough but not biter (no matter the amount of tea I use or the length of the brewing time). I am hoping the tea brewer solves this problem, but if not I will start looking at finding a better brand of tea. I am beginning to think that Lipton is the Folgers of the tea world (that is, utter crap unless it's the only thing you've ever tried).

That's all for now. Maybe there will be another post during the week, but I will for sure post my next Sunday update.

Ordered My Derma Roller Today.

The title says it all. I just completed my order on Amazon.com for a 1 mm derma roller and a 4 oz bottle of Bio Oil. I ordered K-Cups for the Keurig too, but that's a whole other topic thread! By the way, links are to the actual products that I ordered (same for the coffee brewer, that's the model my family owns). My order should get here Tuesday :D

I have considered buying a derma roller and Bio Oil for nearly a year. What finally pushed me into ordering today is my lack of progress with the weight loss arena. My weight seems stuck around the 215 lbs mark. I have been eating pretty decently this week, although not stellar. I will admit that a couple of days I had a "low carb" bun (there were 15 grams of carbs in the whole thing). I haven't been having hardly any cream since I found out the carb count listed on the carton is a bald-faced lie. I try to use it sparingly and barely had any cream at all this week. I have been having more cheese than I should. Stupid cheese crisps are so yummy and only take a minute and a half in the microwave to make, so I have been eating them as snacks lately. I haven't really been getting many carbs though.

I weighed myself today, and I am down half a pound since Sunday! I was so mad I felt like throwing the scale in the garbage. I have eaten conservatively today so far. I am going to try to restrict my diet more during next week to see if that helps my weight loss pick up again. I am planning to cutting back to only one serving of cheese per day, no caffeine, more water, more salad, more fat, less protein, and no cream. If I don't lose weight next week I just may go bonkers! lol I am just frustrated that I am not moving forward. That 6 lb gain last week felt like a slap in the face.

To be honest, the weight gain has really taken a toll on me emotionally. I feel sort of blue this week and can feel the nasty fingers of depression digging in my brain and spirit. I have been watching a lot of TV to distract myself and have been craving extra attention and comfort from my husband. I am trying so hard to not let this set back discourage me, but it feels like I am losing that fight. Part of my fight is to find positive ways to make progress in my life. I have been journaling, I am doing extra cleaning in the basement even though I hate it so, and I am going to attempt to improve my skin quality.

I am excited about getting the derma roller. It is a huge experiment for me, and could potentially rid me of most of my horrid skin issues. My hormones may be out of whack from my aging IUD (I need to get it removed in a month or two as that's when the 5 year mark is up). I have been breaking out on my face especially bad, but it is also on my chest, arms, and back. I am also having a flare up of ingrown hairs on my chin. I feel like my skin just exploded this last week. I know it's not THAT bad, but I am still reminded of the Baron Harkonnen from Dune...Acne is suppose to improve with a derma roller's use, as is scarring, loss of elasticity, wrinkles, discolorization, and so on and so forth.

I will be taking photos of each area I plan to use the derma roller. I hope to get rid of acne scars and slight wrinkles on my face, scarring and stretch marks on my legs, arms, abdomen, and chest, as well as loose skin on my abdomen. So basically, I will be taking pictures of my entire body, lol not quite, but nearly. I won't be posting my "before" pictures until I have some "after" pictures to go along with them. I plan on taking pictures at one month intervals. Each month I will post my previous picture alongside my current picture, then a comparison between current and "before."

As far as actual use goes, I plan on using the derma roller along with Bio Oil. I will use the roller lightly 2 or 3 times a week. The Bio Oil I am planning on using every day, including immediately after every derma roller use. I am starting with a 1 mm needle length and will stick with that size for 6 months. After the 6 months are up I plan on using a 2mm size on areas that are more deeply damaged such as my loose skin and the deep stretch marks. I may buy a .5mm size for using on my face, but haven't decided for sure or not yet.

I didn't think my husband would use a derma roller and minoxidil (generic rogaine basically) on a daily basis, so I didn't order those for him. I told him I had ordered a couple things from Amazon, and he was getting all excited that I had ordered a derma roller for him. Bad communication, bad! lol So I made another order for him. I got a .5mm size derma roller for him, as that is the size recommended for treatment of hair loss. I have my doubts that he will use it like he is supposed to, but here's hoping it's not a total waste of money! He will need to use the derma roller lightly every morning, followed by an application of minoxidil as well as another application of minoxidil every night. He hasn't even been taking his pills everyday, so I'm not sure how it will go with poking holes in his head. Hopefully he cares about going bald enough to stick with it.

I will be taking photos and tracking my husbands progress with treating his thinning and receding hair. Hopefully I end up with impressive "after" photos for both of us! I do believe I will be a bit impatient to see the results. I am trying to talk myself into lowering my expectations, but it isn't working. I really don't want to end up disappointed, especially since I am using this as a coping method for my lack of recent weight loss. Even if my scars don't fade drastically, any improvement would be nice.

That is all for now. Hopefully I manage to lose a bit more weight by Sunday, but I'm not going to be holding my breath. At least Tuesday will be an exciting day!

August 14th weigh in.

What a horrible week :( Well okay, the week itself wasn't so bad, but my weight loss was. We had a birthday this week and I caved and had some cake. To be exact I had two small pieces of cake and two servings of sugar free ice cream (some cake and ice cream twice during the week). Otherwise I was very good on my diet. Those two days of a little splurge killed my weight loss. Looking back, the cake was absolutely not worth it. I felt horrible from the cake. I had terrible stomach cramps and not so fun bathroom time.

I really don't want to list my weight. I felt so disappointed when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw that +6 lbs. It seems unreal to me that I would gain 6 lbs from two little pieces of cake. I have been having such a hard time not giving in to the discouragement. It would be so easy to just go binge on fast food right now, and it is tempting except for the fact that I know I would feel way worse for it. I am trying to remind myself that this is a temporary set back, and most likely some little oddity. There is no way that those 6 lbs are fat. Most likely it is water weight and bloating from the carbs, possibly some constipation too (gross yes, but still a possibility).

So much for my great progress last weigh in, but I am trying hard to stay positive. I am not going to think about the weight loss this week if I can help it. I am going to just try to enjoy the week, relax, and eat tasty food that fits my diet. We'll see what next Sunday holds in store for me.

August 7th weigh in.

I would say that this last week was a big success as far as shedding pounds. During last week I lost 4.5 lbs! Hooray, I say! I am very pleased with that large of a number. I had been losing very slowly in the month of July, so starting August off with a 4.5 pound loss is thrilling! I haven't lost so much weight in one week since I started doing low-carb this last time. During the first month I was losing 5 lbs each week. I'm not sure if this past week was a fluke, or if my weight loss will be a little faster this month. Either way, I am at 209 lbs now.

Since I am under 210, it's time for another reward! I get a reward for every 10 lbs that I lose, so my next reward will be when I get under 200 lbs. I am really looking forward to getting below 200, but I am pleased to be under 210. I have been thinking of trying to get into art a little more. When I was younger I enjoyed drawing, but never had any lessons. So since it is something I have been wanting to do for awhile, I decided to spend $20 on some drawing stuff. I bought a pencil and charcoal set and a beginners lesson book for drawing and sketching. I have some old sketch paper that I'll use for the early basic stuff, then buy better paper later on. It isn't beauty related at all, but it should be a source of relaxation and stress relief, so perhaps it is a tiny bit beauty related :D

I do notice that I am getting thinner. I think my jeans are getting a bit looser, though not by much. My husband said I looked like I had lost weight, but who knows if he really meant it, or was just trying to be nice. I will need to buy a new pair of pajama pants soon. I had gotten them before losing weight. 40 lbs lost and they no longer stay up. I do wish I would lose fat from allover my body at the same rate. I feel like I've lost the most off my face and stomach, yet not much off my upper arms. I've always hated my upper-arm fat, but I feel like it is becoming more noticeable as the rest of my body shrinks. I suppose it will all even out eventually, I just really don't like the way it looks now, lol

There isn't really anything besides my weight loss to talk about. My skin condition has stayed the same, so has my hair and nails. My nails and hair do seem stronger than they did before taking the omega 3 and biotin pills, but I haven't really seen additional improvement in the past couple weeks. I am hopping to see more results after a couple months total have passed. After all, I just opened the second bottle of the biotin pills last night, so I've only gone through one month using them. I have read that it can take around 3-4 months to see the full benefit, so it's not like I really even expected any results yet.

Speaking of pills, I didn't take mine a couple days last week. This is the first time I have missed any of my pills. Our schedule was all messed up because of my husband working ridiculously long hours for a few days in a row. I always stay up until he gets home so we can spend a couple minutes talking before bed. There were a couple nights that we didn't get to bed until after 2 or 3 in the morning, and I kept forgetting my pills. Hopefully I do better this week with taking my pills morning and night every day.

Another 4.5 lbs lost this week would be awesome, but I am just hopping for the 2lbs per week. Right now I am 3 lbs ahead of schedule. If I follow my 2 lbs each week goal, I will be at 170 by Christmas. It would be really great it I could lose a bit more and be a few lbs lighter by the then. I don't want to get my expectations too high though. Whether the weight is lost quickly or slowly, I'll be happy when it's finally gone!

July's progress.

The end of July is here and a new month starts tomorrow. I don't really feel like I've lost much weight over this past month, but I've made progress nonetheless.

My weigh in today showed me at 213.5. That is 1.5 lbs lost since last Sunday. For the month's progress I've lost 5.5 lbs. On my bust I lost .5 inches, waist -1, hips -1, -1 off each thigh, and -1 off each arm. I didn't lose much weight, but I feel like my measurements were good.

I am hoping to lose more weight in August than I did in July. I do believe that the Splenda was a problem for me, as I was over-indulging a bit. One packet of Splenda is listed as no calories and less than one carb. I do not believe that though. The ingredients are Dextrose, Maltodextrin, and Sucralose. How can it be less than one carb (let alone zero calories) if the very fist ingredient is Dextrose? I have no idea why I didn't check the ingredients before, but I really wish I would have. The whole point of a low carb diet is to limit blood sugar, control insulin levels, and burn fat for fuel instead of simple carbs. The first ingredient is exactly what I've been trying to avoid, the evil glucose.

Because of the issue with Splenda, I need to find a different sweetener to use. I suppose if I was really good I just wouldn't use sweetener at all any more, but I'm not sure I could handle that, lol I've been doing some research on Stevia. I have avoided it to date because of hearing that it causes sterility, especially in men and unborn baby boys. My research hasn't been very reassuring, besides I have found articles stating for a man to achieve the same results as the lab rats tested, he would need to eat at least 3 pounds of it per day. There seems to be a lot of debate over it, so we need to weigh the risks and benefits against other sweeteners.

Speaking of sweeteners, I came across something rather shocking that I was completely unaware of. I've been reading about aspartame and the host of negative effects it has on many people. Aspartame is very widely used in sugar-free processed food and diet pop. There was a while where I was having muscle twitches and couldn't figure out why. At the time I was drinking 2-4 cans of diet pop each day. I started having problems with my eye lid twitching. It happened off and on lasting part of a day or a few days, the worst case lasted up to a week. As time went on it was happening more often, only my check started to twitch too. After a few months I was having problems with my thumb, index finger, and middle finger on my right hand twitching. At that point I was getting pretty concerned, but we had no money to go to the doctor. I guess it was a good thing that we ran out of money for extras, because that meant we had to stop buying pop. It didn't take more than a week and all my twitching had stopped and has yet to happen again. I can have diet pop on my diet, but have been severely limiting it because the book "Why We Get Fat: And What To Do About It" by Gary Taubes suggested to stay away from it because it can alter the ph level of your body and slow weight loss. I was shocked to read that headache, twitching, and blindness are all reported dangers of eating foods that contain aspartame. At least now I know what was making me sick and can avoid it.

There really isn't much to report on with my hair, skin, or nails besides to say that several of my nails broke last week for aparently no reason. My nails are thicker, stronger, and harder, so I was perplexed as to why they broke. Anyway, that is all I have to comment on at the moment.

Here's to another week of weight loss!!

July 24th weigh in.

Well, progress has been made! I didn't get my goal of 2 lbs lost this week, but 1.5 is darn close. I now weigh 215 lbs, which is 4 lbs lost so far this month. I am losing much slower than I did the first month, but I have had a couple set backs so that's understandable. I was getting into drinking sweetened blended coffee drinks too much, especially after I discovered local stores carry the Hershey's sugar free chocolate syrup. I am not drinking those anymore because we ran out of coffee and syrup. I am making slushies with regular Kool-aid packets and packet Splenda (a shallow teaspoon makes a good full 12 oz slushy). I am trying to have two or less each day, since I think overdoing the Splenda was a bit of an issue before.

I haven't lost much weight these past couple weeks, however I think I am seeing a difference in the way I look. My neck looks a little slimmer and my stomach is not protruding as much. I am excited to measure myself at the end of the month (next Sunday!) and hopefully see a reduction in size on the tape measure.

Besides my weigh in, there really isn't much to comment on as nothing else has changed. Here's hoping that I lose more this week!

July 17th weigh in.

Ack! Another Sunday already! This past week went be very quickly for me, which is strange considering I was oftly hormonal and suffered from some weird mood swings. I sort of lost weight, though who knows how much. Remember last week that my scale was going all funky on me? Well, I counted the lowest weight it gave me even though I knew it was not accurate. 215.5 last week, and the most consistent number I got this time was 216.5. So while it appears that I gained 1 pound from last week I am confident that I lost some and last weeks' number was just wrong (I already figured that, like I stated previously). I am at 3 lbs lost for the month so far, and while 1.5 lbs lost each week is below my goal of 2 lbs, it is still close enough for me. My scale is still not giving accurate readings, I actually got 209.5 several times, but I was pretty sure that I didn't lose that much weight during the week!

I'm not really sure how I feel about my weight loss so far. I know I lost a lot last month, and I am making good steady progress. For some reason though, I have this weird feeling that I am not losing fast enough or working hard enough on losing weight. It is so weird to know in my head that I am doing good, yet on an emotional level feel like I am failing. It is frustrating to say the least! I know that it doesn't help that I've seen a rather noticeable change in my husband's body shape (particularly his gut). He has lost weight much more quickly than me, and for some reason I feel some weird sense of shame and disgust that I am heavier than he is. I know that men in general lose weight faster than women, but for some reason it still really bothers me. I catch him cheating a lot too. He eats more cheese than he by rights should, he drinks way too much coffee, uses too many condiments, doesn't drink enough water and occasionally will eat something very starchy, yet he still loses weight faster than me. It feels so unfair! lol I am happy for him, but envious too.

I am not seeing a difference in the mirror and am really longing to look thinner. I do want to be healthier, but not feeling attractive is really damaging on my self esteem. My husband doesn't really give compliments or notice how I look very often, and when he does it is more lewd than flattering. I pretty much have to go based on what I see and how I feel. I still feel pretty darn fat, even if it is better than it used to be, and I still think I look pretty darn fat, even though I have lost over 30 lbs since November. My jeans fit pretty much the same as they have been for a few weeks now, and I haven't noticed any other clothing fitting better either. That is a bit discouraging, because I am impatient in wanting to lose weight.

A big reason why I want to lose weight is so I can starting thinking about having another baby. I had serious complications with my first baby, and the second baby was in pretty serious condition for 6 hours after birth. I think if I was much healthier, then the pregnancy and baby would both stand a much better chance of going smoothly/being healthier. I have two little girls, and I would really like to try for a baby boy. I always wanted two of each gender, though I would be plenty happy with one little boy. I would be happy if I had another little girl honestly, but the hope would be for a boy this next time. Family is very important to me, and before getting married my husband and I agreed that we would aim for 4 kids (originally he wanted 3 and I wanted 6, so we compromised). Emergency cesarean may have complicated my having 4 babies, but I still want to try for a 3rd. I have to get my health in order first, so it does frustrate me enormously when I feel like I am not losing weight quickly enough.

I have been taking the GNC Hair, Skin, and Nails pills faithfully for two weeks now. I do believe I'm seeing a difference in my nails already. I wasn't expecting to see any results for another week at least, so this is exciting! A nail broke last night, and a bit disappointed about it I went about clipping my nails. My nails are usually pretty weak, they peal, split and are soft. I was surprised when it was difficult to clip through my finger nails! All my nails were harder, especially my thumb nails. My right thumb nail was down right a pain in the butt to get clipped, I have never encountered that problem before! I am very happy that the pills are making a difference in my nails, and am excited to see what they do for my hair eventually. My husband is taking the pills too, but hasn't made any comments to me if he has noticed a difference (not that he would).

I deep conditioned my hair with coconut oil for the second time. Even though I used less oil and left it in for 40 minutes instead of 60 it still wouldn't rinse out with warm water as claimed. I had to use a bit of shampoo to get most of the oil out, and even then is has a bit of a greasy feel to it in spots. Next time I will use even less oil. I do think it works wells, but I just need to find the perfect amount to use for my hair type and length.

A not so fun side effect of low-carb living can be bowel issues. Both my husband and myself have been having problems with constipation this past week. Constipation is usually thought to be because the person isn't getting enough fiber, but seeing as how starches aren't allowed, you can't really have lots of fiber on a low-carb diet/lifestyle. You would have to eat way more vegetables than are allowed to get the fiber content as well. After a bit of research on the internet I found that the issue is not enough fat and/or water in the diet, NOT a lack of fiber. I never really thought about it before, but that makes a lot of sense. Fat in the diet coats the intestine and works as a lubricant, and when you are dehydrated your body sucks all the moisture it can out of your food, leaving you with pebble poop.

Thinking about how fiber causes you to have loose stool, made me realize that it honestly doesn't seem like a great idea. Fiber is not digestible, so it goes straight through your body causing your stool to pass more quickly. Why would you purposefully eat something that your body has no use for (like cereal that looks like little hay bales, lol)? At least with the fat and the water you know that your body actually uses it. Sugar alcohols can also act like a laxative much like fiber does. They are metabolized like alcohol (yup, in the liver) and so have little to no effect on your blood glucose, but they go straight through you and can cause diarrhea. Sugar alcohol can cause horrible stomach cramping and diarrhea if you eat too much of it, especially if you are sensitive to it. I don't think it makes a very good laxative because of the stomach pain, gas, and bloating that can come with it. I try to avoid sugar alcohols in general, but some of those Atkins bars are pretty darn tasty for a once-in-a-while treat :D The coconut ones are pretty much like Mounds candy bars and are my favorite of the ones I've tried so far (they are expensive though at more than $6 for a box of 5 bars).

Here's hoping for a better week! :)