I had my Mirena IUD removed on the 4th and it was nothing like I was expecting. The procedure itself went much better than I had anticipated, in fact I barely felt it when it was removed and the whole appointment went quickly. My hormones hit hard the next day though, and I've been pretty miserable ever since.
The 5th was one of the worst days for me. I was so out of control and full of rage. It was a very odd experience and not pleasant at all. I am usually pretty quiet and reserved and polite. That day I was just full of rage and had an extremely difficult time keeping from biting people's heads off. Every time someone walked by me I felt like screaming and swearing at them. I felt like I wasn't in control of myself at all and the emotion of rage and anger was very scary in how strong and uncontrollable it was.
The days since the 5th have not been full of rage, but I've been experiencing wild out of control emotions all the same. Today for example I am experiencing sadness and despair so powerful that I don't even feel like living (by that I mean doing anything required during my normal day. Suicide hasn't really entered my mind, given I don't think I could get up the energy or motivation to even try it). I have felt like I've been on am emotional roller coaster this whole time. I have not had a good day since the 4th, with my best day being only "okay."
Besides the emotional roller coaster I've been experiencing, I did have physical pain to go along with it. I was expecting a horribly heavy mensuration, but that hasn't been the case. The first several days I did experience some pretty intense cramping and back pain and one day I had trouble feeling like I was going to vomit. The cramping is mostly over with now and the hormonal lower back pain isn't so bad except in the evenings. The bleeding hasn't been bad at all, constant and light.
I was really hoping I would start feeling better once I had the Mirena removed, so I am kinda bummed out by my whacked out hormones. I am hoping that my body is just getting things back to normal and working out all the kinks. I am not sure if I could handle this barrage of mood swings every month. I am pretty sure my family couldn't handle it. I have had two migraines since having the IUD removed, so I think that is doing a little better.
I have been really stressing out about the future. I know that it is normal for life to not go as planned, but I am super stressed out about not having a plan anyway. My husband and I sat down and did a budget sheet up a couple nights ago. We are hoping to more closely follow Dave Ramsey's plan for eliminating debt and planning for retirement this year. His website provides free budget worksheets which have been a great help to us for a couple years now. I highly recommend his approach to money management as it actually works in real life situations. It was nice to get a budget done, but at the same time it really stressed me out. There was too much going back and taking away from areas in order to get other needs met as well. We are going to try to give more this year, though we will only be able to donate 6% so it won't be a true tithe of 10%. My husband was upset about this as it is something that is important to him, but so is feeding the pets and clothing the children.
Something else that is stressful is not knowing what is going on with my husband's job. At the end of the job he will either be let go, or promoted and moved to a different job site (which could be anywhere in the world). The really bad thing about this is that the job will be done with in the spring of 2013, which will be when our third baby will be born if all goes well and we are successful in conceiving around June or July of this year.
If he loses his job he is confident there are several companies that would hire him locally, but they probably wouldn't have the potential for advancement that his current job could offer. If he is kept on with his current job and given a promotion, we would have to think about moving. Moving who knows where with a newborn would be very hard, and there is a good chance his salary would not be enough to support our family in a different city. The children and I would most likely end up staying here while he moved to the job site (in this case the company would pay his room and board and transportation, he would only need to furnish food and personal items). This scenario would work financially, but for him to move to a different area for approximately 2-4 years while visiting us maybe 3-4 times per year would be very hard. The new baby basically wouldn't have a father, and I would be a single mother of three young children. This doesn't sound nice at all to me, but if he does stay with the company this is the most likely scenario...which scares the crud out of me. If he stays with the company there is good room to grow and be promoted and end up with a very nice salary, but he would always be moving every few years. The moving could be great for our family when the kids are older, but it would be very hard while they are young.
The whole deal with the job situation has been very stressful. There are some repairs and modifications that need done to our home within the next couple years. I would like to finish the basement before the new baby (assuming everything works out of course) turns 2 years old. The baby's room would be in the basement (our bedroom is down there, is partially why) and the main area needs finished as well so it can be our school room and be next to the baby's room. There is a lot of work to be done down there. We need to do some foundation repair and level the floors as well as plumbing and putting in larger windows, so it isn't just all cosmetic work. We need to do quite a bit of work to the house in order to accommodate another child and make this a more functional area for us to live. Right now we only use the main level of our house because of the basement not being finished, so even though our house is approximately 1800 square feet we are only able to use 900 of it. I want to have a dedicated school area for sure, as that would make it much nicer for non school hours and to help separate school time from non school time. The kids would really like having a space just for school as well as it would help give it a bit more seriousness and make it feel special for them.
My weight loss has been going okay so far. I lost 5 lbs the first week and 1 lb so far this week. Being so depressed has been making it really hard as I want to run back to my comfort foods but know that would blow the diet. It has been really hard to find comfort here lately. I can't use the food anymore, and the things I try to do to cope get interrupted. My husband is no help, as comforting me doesn't seem to be important to him. I don't mind the diet and the foods I've been eating, but they don't give the high that sugar does. I got through many years by relying on sweets to comfort me when there was no other source of comfort, that's how I got to be so overweight. I am glad I am losing weight, but sometimes it doesn't seem worth it when I have to give up the biggest source of comfort that I had. I have been trying to read more to cope, and it helps some but not enough. Watching T.V. doesn't really help, knitting isn't even helping right now. I would really like to go on a date with my husband, but he would have to bother to plan something, find babysitting, find the time to go, and come up with the money to do it. If I planned everything I would just end up resenting him that he couldn't be bothered to do it, yet again.
I am really hoping my mood evens out soon. Something has to change or I feel like I may just go crazy. Here's hoping tomorrow is a less moody day.
The 5th was one of the worst days for me. I was so out of control and full of rage. It was a very odd experience and not pleasant at all. I am usually pretty quiet and reserved and polite. That day I was just full of rage and had an extremely difficult time keeping from biting people's heads off. Every time someone walked by me I felt like screaming and swearing at them. I felt like I wasn't in control of myself at all and the emotion of rage and anger was very scary in how strong and uncontrollable it was.
The days since the 5th have not been full of rage, but I've been experiencing wild out of control emotions all the same. Today for example I am experiencing sadness and despair so powerful that I don't even feel like living (by that I mean doing anything required during my normal day. Suicide hasn't really entered my mind, given I don't think I could get up the energy or motivation to even try it). I have felt like I've been on am emotional roller coaster this whole time. I have not had a good day since the 4th, with my best day being only "okay."
Besides the emotional roller coaster I've been experiencing, I did have physical pain to go along with it. I was expecting a horribly heavy mensuration, but that hasn't been the case. The first several days I did experience some pretty intense cramping and back pain and one day I had trouble feeling like I was going to vomit. The cramping is mostly over with now and the hormonal lower back pain isn't so bad except in the evenings. The bleeding hasn't been bad at all, constant and light.
I was really hoping I would start feeling better once I had the Mirena removed, so I am kinda bummed out by my whacked out hormones. I am hoping that my body is just getting things back to normal and working out all the kinks. I am not sure if I could handle this barrage of mood swings every month. I am pretty sure my family couldn't handle it. I have had two migraines since having the IUD removed, so I think that is doing a little better.
I have been really stressing out about the future. I know that it is normal for life to not go as planned, but I am super stressed out about not having a plan anyway. My husband and I sat down and did a budget sheet up a couple nights ago. We are hoping to more closely follow Dave Ramsey's plan for eliminating debt and planning for retirement this year. His website provides free budget worksheets which have been a great help to us for a couple years now. I highly recommend his approach to money management as it actually works in real life situations. It was nice to get a budget done, but at the same time it really stressed me out. There was too much going back and taking away from areas in order to get other needs met as well. We are going to try to give more this year, though we will only be able to donate 6% so it won't be a true tithe of 10%. My husband was upset about this as it is something that is important to him, but so is feeding the pets and clothing the children.
Something else that is stressful is not knowing what is going on with my husband's job. At the end of the job he will either be let go, or promoted and moved to a different job site (which could be anywhere in the world). The really bad thing about this is that the job will be done with in the spring of 2013, which will be when our third baby will be born if all goes well and we are successful in conceiving around June or July of this year.
If he loses his job he is confident there are several companies that would hire him locally, but they probably wouldn't have the potential for advancement that his current job could offer. If he is kept on with his current job and given a promotion, we would have to think about moving. Moving who knows where with a newborn would be very hard, and there is a good chance his salary would not be enough to support our family in a different city. The children and I would most likely end up staying here while he moved to the job site (in this case the company would pay his room and board and transportation, he would only need to furnish food and personal items). This scenario would work financially, but for him to move to a different area for approximately 2-4 years while visiting us maybe 3-4 times per year would be very hard. The new baby basically wouldn't have a father, and I would be a single mother of three young children. This doesn't sound nice at all to me, but if he does stay with the company this is the most likely scenario...which scares the crud out of me. If he stays with the company there is good room to grow and be promoted and end up with a very nice salary, but he would always be moving every few years. The moving could be great for our family when the kids are older, but it would be very hard while they are young.
The whole deal with the job situation has been very stressful. There are some repairs and modifications that need done to our home within the next couple years. I would like to finish the basement before the new baby (assuming everything works out of course) turns 2 years old. The baby's room would be in the basement (our bedroom is down there, is partially why) and the main area needs finished as well so it can be our school room and be next to the baby's room. There is a lot of work to be done down there. We need to do some foundation repair and level the floors as well as plumbing and putting in larger windows, so it isn't just all cosmetic work. We need to do quite a bit of work to the house in order to accommodate another child and make this a more functional area for us to live. Right now we only use the main level of our house because of the basement not being finished, so even though our house is approximately 1800 square feet we are only able to use 900 of it. I want to have a dedicated school area for sure, as that would make it much nicer for non school hours and to help separate school time from non school time. The kids would really like having a space just for school as well as it would help give it a bit more seriousness and make it feel special for them.
My weight loss has been going okay so far. I lost 5 lbs the first week and 1 lb so far this week. Being so depressed has been making it really hard as I want to run back to my comfort foods but know that would blow the diet. It has been really hard to find comfort here lately. I can't use the food anymore, and the things I try to do to cope get interrupted. My husband is no help, as comforting me doesn't seem to be important to him. I don't mind the diet and the foods I've been eating, but they don't give the high that sugar does. I got through many years by relying on sweets to comfort me when there was no other source of comfort, that's how I got to be so overweight. I am glad I am losing weight, but sometimes it doesn't seem worth it when I have to give up the biggest source of comfort that I had. I have been trying to read more to cope, and it helps some but not enough. Watching T.V. doesn't really help, knitting isn't even helping right now. I would really like to go on a date with my husband, but he would have to bother to plan something, find babysitting, find the time to go, and come up with the money to do it. If I planned everything I would just end up resenting him that he couldn't be bothered to do it, yet again.
I am really hoping my mood evens out soon. Something has to change or I feel like I may just go crazy. Here's hoping tomorrow is a less moody day.
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