I am now 3 weeks through my recovery period with 3 more left. I feel that I am doing good with the grieving process. I no longer seem to have outbursts of uncontrollable sadness and despair. I still get very sad and cry, but it is no longer totally uncontrollable (meaning I can contain my tears until there is no one to see and I can cry in peace). We have plans to make a plaque of sorts in memory of the baby and possibly name the baby as well. We haven't had time to sit and discuss this much, but I hope to do it soon.
I seem to think about having another baby quite a lot. I would say that I think about having a baby at least a handful of times every day. I think of all the things I'd like to make for my baby, and all the sweet smiles and baby laughter. I am getting fairly depressed that I am not losing weight like I had wanted to. The longer it takes me to lose the weight, the longer it will be until I can try for another baby. I eat really well for several days, then collapse emotionally and end up eating junk that I shouldn't. I seem to be stuck in a yo-yo-ing pattern that is driving me crazy.
The recovery has been really slow physically. I have been having a worrisome pain in my right side (my left ovary was removed) and I have been worrying about ovarian cysts and random other problems. I have only started to feel better in the past couple days, and I am more than a little bit worried that recovering from a laproscopic surgery is taking longer than a full blown c-section did. I decided not to go to the clinic since I started feeling better, but I will be sure to mention my concerns with the OB/GYN when I have my post-op appointment on the 11th. I am hoping it all turns out to be normal, but I have this bad feeling that my one surviving ovary is having issues.
It is very late as I am writing this. Everyone else in the house is asleep and it is quiet and peaceful. I am pretty tired, but I have really enjoyed some time to myself. There are times when a person just gets tired of being around small children all day and needs a break. I will be staying up for another 20 minutes or so. I have been sick or recovering for quite a while now and tomorrow I plan on getting started back with school. We have book work all done for the year, but there is some reading that I would like to do with the kids and pick up some extra science over the summer. I am enjoying the alone time tonight because I know I won't get anymore for a couple days.
That's all for now. I hope to get my weight back on track tomorrow, so maybe I'll have something positive to report in the next few days.
I seem to think about having another baby quite a lot. I would say that I think about having a baby at least a handful of times every day. I think of all the things I'd like to make for my baby, and all the sweet smiles and baby laughter. I am getting fairly depressed that I am not losing weight like I had wanted to. The longer it takes me to lose the weight, the longer it will be until I can try for another baby. I eat really well for several days, then collapse emotionally and end up eating junk that I shouldn't. I seem to be stuck in a yo-yo-ing pattern that is driving me crazy.
The recovery has been really slow physically. I have been having a worrisome pain in my right side (my left ovary was removed) and I have been worrying about ovarian cysts and random other problems. I have only started to feel better in the past couple days, and I am more than a little bit worried that recovering from a laproscopic surgery is taking longer than a full blown c-section did. I decided not to go to the clinic since I started feeling better, but I will be sure to mention my concerns with the OB/GYN when I have my post-op appointment on the 11th. I am hoping it all turns out to be normal, but I have this bad feeling that my one surviving ovary is having issues.
It is very late as I am writing this. Everyone else in the house is asleep and it is quiet and peaceful. I am pretty tired, but I have really enjoyed some time to myself. There are times when a person just gets tired of being around small children all day and needs a break. I will be staying up for another 20 minutes or so. I have been sick or recovering for quite a while now and tomorrow I plan on getting started back with school. We have book work all done for the year, but there is some reading that I would like to do with the kids and pick up some extra science over the summer. I am enjoying the alone time tonight because I know I won't get anymore for a couple days.
That's all for now. I hope to get my weight back on track tomorrow, so maybe I'll have something positive to report in the next few days.
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