Obviously I didn't post on Sunday. Sunday was a crazy day, plus my husband was on my computer all evening.
I did test on Sunday, and got a negative :( It is still really early though, so a negative doesn't mean much (besides showing how impatient I am!). I have been experiencing typical pregnancy symptoms, but not anywhere remotely close to regularly. Some days I seem to have all the symptoms, other days I only have one or two. My husband is sure that I am pregnant (and that it is a boy) but I am going crazy. On days when I have a ton of symptoms I am pretty sure I am pregnant, but when I have an "easy" day, I freak out and start worrying that I "was" pregnant and lost it. I think my husband is dismissing the psycho emotional worrying as a symptom of pregnancy (he could be right, though personally I feel like I am just going crazy, lol).
I have been trying very hard to focus on other things, and I am not doing well at it at all. I have made up a few batches of Almond Thins (crackers made with almond flour), and some cheese crackers that taste like cheez-its. I thought the cheese crackers sounded really good, but almost threw up after eating one, lol My husband loves the cheese crackers, and on a not-nauseous day, so do I. The Almond Thins are super good with some Boursin :) In fact we need to buy some more. I was surprised how good the artichoke and spinach flavor was, yum! It is so hard to find full-fat products. I originally wanted the herb flavor, but they only had it in low-fat. This anti-fat dogma is really frustrating for those of us who don't buy into it. It shouldn't be so hard to buy full-fat dairy products.
When ever I see skim milk, I think of my late grandpa. He always refused to drink skim milk, and I am paraphrasing here, but he always used to say something like "you can't fool me, I know you make pigs fat by feeding them skim milk and corn." He also refused to eat at McDonalds because he claimed they peed in the pickles, but that's an entirely different story!
Whether I get a positive or my next cycle, it will be a relief to not wonder anymore. I hate this whole yoyoing between feeling pregnant and not feeling pregnant. I think it is easier to not have any symptoms, then miss the next cycle and just poof, be pregnant. My first time I thought I was sick for a couple weeks, then when I missed my period I took a test and bam! preggers! With my second I thought I was imagining all the symptoms because I recognized them from before, but never expected to conceive the first month trying. The third baby, I sort of knew I was pregnant a couple weeks before my cycle was due. I think I am really questioning this month because last time was so painful because of losing the baby and having the trauma of the whole ordeal with the hospital and the surgery. I am hopeful and really scared at the same time. There really are days that I am 100% sure that I am pregnant, then other days it dips to about 50% sure. I won't lie, if my cycle comes I will be devastated and mad. It would really hurt to have my hopes gotten up for nothing, and it would be frustrating to be having all these discomforts and pains without getting anything good out of it.
It is hard to tell what my husband is thinking or feeling right now. He tends to hold in his feelings and thoughts, so it is hard to tell where he really is. He has expressed interest and desire to have another baby, but there are times he acts indifferent. I am sensitive to the whole issue right now, so that makes it tough. He has so much going on with work that we don't really get the time to talk. At least with our other babies, we had time to talk, even if he wasn't as mature or supportive back then. Hopefully here in a few months his workload will lighten, and we will get more time together. It would be nice to just be able to enjoy the (hopeful) pregnancy and our family with my husband more.
I had gained some weight previously, and I finally have that off now. I am losing pretty slowly, but that's okay. Since we are trying to get pregnant, I don't want to over do it with weight loss. I think a pound to a pound and a half each week is fine, even if it feels slow compared to what I am used to. I am still eating really close to 20 carbs per day, and I am trying to stay close to 2000 calories. If I don't watch it, I can easily eat as low as 1000 calories per day on low carb without even realizing it, so I have to be careful to stay close to 2000 (more for when I have to explain my diet to a dr, I don't really put much stock in the value of calories). I have read that women who low-carb while pregnant don't experience as much morning sickness compared to when they ate high-carb. I feel good about my choices, and I am hoping I don't have to fight with my doctor over it (probably what I am dreading the most as far as dr appointments go).
Here's hoping for a positive test any day now!
I did test on Sunday, and got a negative :( It is still really early though, so a negative doesn't mean much (besides showing how impatient I am!). I have been experiencing typical pregnancy symptoms, but not anywhere remotely close to regularly. Some days I seem to have all the symptoms, other days I only have one or two. My husband is sure that I am pregnant (and that it is a boy) but I am going crazy. On days when I have a ton of symptoms I am pretty sure I am pregnant, but when I have an "easy" day, I freak out and start worrying that I "was" pregnant and lost it. I think my husband is dismissing the psycho emotional worrying as a symptom of pregnancy (he could be right, though personally I feel like I am just going crazy, lol).
I have been trying very hard to focus on other things, and I am not doing well at it at all. I have made up a few batches of Almond Thins (crackers made with almond flour), and some cheese crackers that taste like cheez-its. I thought the cheese crackers sounded really good, but almost threw up after eating one, lol My husband loves the cheese crackers, and on a not-nauseous day, so do I. The Almond Thins are super good with some Boursin :) In fact we need to buy some more. I was surprised how good the artichoke and spinach flavor was, yum! It is so hard to find full-fat products. I originally wanted the herb flavor, but they only had it in low-fat. This anti-fat dogma is really frustrating for those of us who don't buy into it. It shouldn't be so hard to buy full-fat dairy products.
When ever I see skim milk, I think of my late grandpa. He always refused to drink skim milk, and I am paraphrasing here, but he always used to say something like "you can't fool me, I know you make pigs fat by feeding them skim milk and corn." He also refused to eat at McDonalds because he claimed they peed in the pickles, but that's an entirely different story!
Whether I get a positive or my next cycle, it will be a relief to not wonder anymore. I hate this whole yoyoing between feeling pregnant and not feeling pregnant. I think it is easier to not have any symptoms, then miss the next cycle and just poof, be pregnant. My first time I thought I was sick for a couple weeks, then when I missed my period I took a test and bam! preggers! With my second I thought I was imagining all the symptoms because I recognized them from before, but never expected to conceive the first month trying. The third baby, I sort of knew I was pregnant a couple weeks before my cycle was due. I think I am really questioning this month because last time was so painful because of losing the baby and having the trauma of the whole ordeal with the hospital and the surgery. I am hopeful and really scared at the same time. There really are days that I am 100% sure that I am pregnant, then other days it dips to about 50% sure. I won't lie, if my cycle comes I will be devastated and mad. It would really hurt to have my hopes gotten up for nothing, and it would be frustrating to be having all these discomforts and pains without getting anything good out of it.
It is hard to tell what my husband is thinking or feeling right now. He tends to hold in his feelings and thoughts, so it is hard to tell where he really is. He has expressed interest and desire to have another baby, but there are times he acts indifferent. I am sensitive to the whole issue right now, so that makes it tough. He has so much going on with work that we don't really get the time to talk. At least with our other babies, we had time to talk, even if he wasn't as mature or supportive back then. Hopefully here in a few months his workload will lighten, and we will get more time together. It would be nice to just be able to enjoy the (hopeful) pregnancy and our family with my husband more.
I had gained some weight previously, and I finally have that off now. I am losing pretty slowly, but that's okay. Since we are trying to get pregnant, I don't want to over do it with weight loss. I think a pound to a pound and a half each week is fine, even if it feels slow compared to what I am used to. I am still eating really close to 20 carbs per day, and I am trying to stay close to 2000 calories. If I don't watch it, I can easily eat as low as 1000 calories per day on low carb without even realizing it, so I have to be careful to stay close to 2000 (more for when I have to explain my diet to a dr, I don't really put much stock in the value of calories). I have read that women who low-carb while pregnant don't experience as much morning sickness compared to when they ate high-carb. I feel good about my choices, and I am hoping I don't have to fight with my doctor over it (probably what I am dreading the most as far as dr appointments go).
Here's hoping for a positive test any day now!
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