Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Update

So I haven't posted in a while, in a loooong while. I have been incredibly busy with having my baby and all that, but the reason for not posting is the lack of a computer. The on-board graphics card went out on my laptop, so I'm stuck without a working computer. Maybe I'll get the money to remedy that someday, but it won't be anytime soon sadly. That means of course that I'm typing this on my phone : /

The birth, oh the birth. It did not go well. I went overdue. I'm not talking about 40 weeks and 1 day. I truly was post-dates at 42 weeks and 3 days. I'm not sure why, but labor just never kicked in for me. I spent the entire pregnancy preparing and being so excited to birth my baby, then my body failed me at the finish line. I can't even express how disappointed I am. I am 8 weeks postpartum today (yesterday, by the time I post) and it is still very much on my mind. I know this will be a hurdle for me that will be tough to get over. I am sad.

I had a bpp (biophysical profile) a little before 42 weeks, and it revealed I had no fluid left. The midwife thought we should get him born ASAP, so we started natural induction methods. None of it worked. I fought to go into labor for 3 days!! It was exhausting and heartbreaking to watch my son's wonderful home birth slip through my fingers. Finally we tried some different positions trying to see if he would fully engage, and my wimpy contractions caused some scary decels in his heart rate. Apparently his cord was pinched and we needed to get to the hospital. So I ended up with worst-case-scenario #2. #1 would have been the death of my baby, #2 was yet another c-section.

My baby boy was 9lbs 3oz and 21 inches long at birth. He has been my most difficult baby yet, but I've never seen a more adorable baby when he's happy. I am so thankful that he is here. I wasn't able to give him the birth he deserved, but I'm giving it my all to care for him best as I can.

Breast feeding is important to me. I failed with my first as it was incredibly painful and the sores just wouldn't heal (I'm pretty sure I had thrush when I look back). I stopped before I wanted to with my second baby because I confused a nursing strike with weaning. It has been a huge struggle with my son. I had thrush pretty badly with extremely painful sores. I caved and used a nipple shield so I could heal while killing the thrush. Then I got mastitis so bad I couldn't get out of bed or even lift my water glass. I am extremely thankful that nursing is now pain-free. I hope to nurse him for 18-24 months unless he weans before then.

I have been very pleased with my weight. I gained a total of 35lbs during the pregnancy, and I lost all of it by 2 1/2 weeks postpartum. Since then I've lost another 17lbs. I'm following a keto diet and love it. The weight loss is great, and I feel good and have no issues with breast feeding supply (this is something I've heard against low carb diets, even though it really doesn't make sense). I lost a lot of weight at first, then caved and had a couple weeks of bad food (Ben and Jerry, I'm looking at you!). I gained back what I'd lost during that time, but it all came right off with one week of strict keto. Last week I lost 3lbs, pretty good progress I think. My goal is 4lbs per month, which would put me at my ideal weight when the baby is 18 months old (we may consider trying for our 4th baby then).

Yes I hope to have another baby. And yes, I will attempt a vba3c, most likely at home. I have been doing research to improve my odds, but I think that is a complete post in itself. For right now I am focusing on healing emotionally from the c-section, and taking care of my wonderful little boy. The new school year is fast approaching, and I'm not sure how I am going to manage with a new baby! I'm sure it will work out, I just don't see how yet.

That was long and rambly, but at least I finally managed to post, lol