So I've been talking about TTC a lot lately, and mentioning the endo here and there. I've said a few times how badly I want to get pregnant while I still have a chance, but I haven't really talked that much about how I feel (or maybe I have and it just feels like I haven't, lol who knows).
To be frank, the endo scares the s#@t out of me. I didn't know I had it until recently, but looking back, I've had the symptoms since I first started my period. SEVERE PERIOD PAINS ARE NOT A NORMAL PART OF BEING A WOMAN!!! Okay? Tell all your friends; spread the word. All my life I thought being bed ridden during a period was just the way it was supposed to be. I didn't really think much about it when my sister would vomit from her period being so intense. My mother remarked that childbirth didn't hurt as much as menstral cramps. Why did no doctor ever step up and say "Hey! This kind of pain isn't normal, and you shouldn't be expected to just endure it!" Seems doctors are as clueless as the general populace when it comes to endo; sadly enough.
40% of women with infertility issues are found to have endo. It is estimated that some 20% of women have endo, but 80% of them are undiagnosed! It takes an average of 8 years before becoming diagnosed! 8 stinking years, of this desease ravaging your body, before being found. How seriously crappy is that? (Some studies claim 10%, some claim as high as 25% of women are suffering from endo, but it seems like 20% was the number that came up the most during the research I have done so far, so that is what I am going with.)
The scary thing about endo is that you never know where it is going to grow, how fast it is going to grow, or even how bad it currently is without exploratory surgry. I don't even know how bad I had it, or how much was removed. I was so drugged out of my head at the time that I don't remember much of what went on after my surgery, besides the horrible nightmares I experianced while under the anethesia, of course. At my post-op appointment I was a bit in shock, so didn't ask the questions I should have. I do remember the Dr. saying the surgery took so long because they had to be so careful. When they first went in, they had to seperate my bowels from my stomach wall so they could even fill my stomach cavity with gas. I didn't think about that at the time, but holy crap! My bowels were fused to my stomach wall! No wonder it hurt so bad when ever I got gas... I was also told that my utures was fused to my abdominal wall on the front, my bowels on the top, and my ovary and fallopian tupe on the left. Also the bladder tube (have no idea what that is acutally called, sorry!) was fused to the rest of the nasty mass of organs, which was why it was hurting so bad to empty my bladder. How could I have dismissed all that pain and just figured "oh, well, it is normal to hurt all the time." This is way too TMI, but intercourse was also painful. When ever pressure was put on the left side (unsurprisingly, that is the side that was full of scar tissue), I would have sharp stabbing pains. I thought this was irritation from my IUD, so like a moron I ignored it :/
I either have a really high tolerance for pain, or am just super scared of looking like a total wuss. I remember being in horrible pain during periods ever since I've had periods. I remember laying on my bed after taking as many advil as my mom would let me, wrapped in a blanket with a heating pad. I would be crying because of the pain, and praying to God to take it away, all while thinking to myself "at least I don't have cramps as bad as my sister, at least I am not throwing up." I struggled with the horrid pains of IBS (irritable bowl syndrome, which is a symptom of endo) when I was in highschool. I remember not bothering taking any advil because I knew it wouldn't even touch the pain. I ended up being impacted to the point of throwing up, not being able to do normal everyday stuff from the pain, but still I didn't want to complain.
When I was in the hospital this past May, I struggled with what to tell the nurses when they asked what my pain level was. I remember the nurse leaving my room after I told her my pain was at a 6 or 7. My husband asked why I was crying, and I said that I was really at a 9, but didn't want to overstate my pain. I was ashamed of understating my pain, but more scared of overstating it and that the nurse might think me weak. Looking back, no one in their right mind would have thought me weak. After all, my organs were being ripped on every time I moved, my abdomen was full of scar tissue, my fallopian tube was on the verge of rupturing, and my pain level was so high the max amount of allowed mophine wouldn't even touch it. Even now, I try to laugh off the endo. I haven't told anyone besides my husband just how scared I am of what the future holds for me. As fast as the endo has progressed these past few months, I think it is looking to be a rather painful life for me.
After I get a BFP, I will be switching to low-carb and start modifing it towards the endo diet. I don't really want to limit my dairy/calcium while pregnant, so I will wait until after the baby is born to do that. I will probably start restricting red meat (boo!) and staying away from all foods that are high in sugar and fructose, and foods that are simple starches. The endo diet is really restrictive, but it will be totally worth it if it controls the endo and gets me close to pain free. Not having caffine won't really effect me much, since I will be staying away from that while pregnant anyway.
I will get into the endo diet later on, once I actually start doing it. I have been doing research on it and will continue to do so. I have read one book on it so far, and plan on buying another book in a few months. This is serious scary stuff, and if I can control it through nutrition instead of surgery every year, why wouldn't I? I would gladly give up all sweets, gluten, caffine, dairy, and red meat if it means I don't have to have surgery regularly to control the spread of the endo.
This has been a long post, but it was a good post. I needed to get some of this off of my chest, and I feel better now. I try to not dwell on this whole topic, but it still gets me down downsometimes. At least right now I have the TTC to obsese over, lol
To be frank, the endo scares the s#@t out of me. I didn't know I had it until recently, but looking back, I've had the symptoms since I first started my period. SEVERE PERIOD PAINS ARE NOT A NORMAL PART OF BEING A WOMAN!!! Okay? Tell all your friends; spread the word. All my life I thought being bed ridden during a period was just the way it was supposed to be. I didn't really think much about it when my sister would vomit from her period being so intense. My mother remarked that childbirth didn't hurt as much as menstral cramps. Why did no doctor ever step up and say "Hey! This kind of pain isn't normal, and you shouldn't be expected to just endure it!" Seems doctors are as clueless as the general populace when it comes to endo; sadly enough.
40% of women with infertility issues are found to have endo. It is estimated that some 20% of women have endo, but 80% of them are undiagnosed! It takes an average of 8 years before becoming diagnosed! 8 stinking years, of this desease ravaging your body, before being found. How seriously crappy is that? (Some studies claim 10%, some claim as high as 25% of women are suffering from endo, but it seems like 20% was the number that came up the most during the research I have done so far, so that is what I am going with.)
The scary thing about endo is that you never know where it is going to grow, how fast it is going to grow, or even how bad it currently is without exploratory surgry. I don't even know how bad I had it, or how much was removed. I was so drugged out of my head at the time that I don't remember much of what went on after my surgery, besides the horrible nightmares I experianced while under the anethesia, of course. At my post-op appointment I was a bit in shock, so didn't ask the questions I should have. I do remember the Dr. saying the surgery took so long because they had to be so careful. When they first went in, they had to seperate my bowels from my stomach wall so they could even fill my stomach cavity with gas. I didn't think about that at the time, but holy crap! My bowels were fused to my stomach wall! No wonder it hurt so bad when ever I got gas... I was also told that my utures was fused to my abdominal wall on the front, my bowels on the top, and my ovary and fallopian tupe on the left. Also the bladder tube (have no idea what that is acutally called, sorry!) was fused to the rest of the nasty mass of organs, which was why it was hurting so bad to empty my bladder. How could I have dismissed all that pain and just figured "oh, well, it is normal to hurt all the time." This is way too TMI, but intercourse was also painful. When ever pressure was put on the left side (unsurprisingly, that is the side that was full of scar tissue), I would have sharp stabbing pains. I thought this was irritation from my IUD, so like a moron I ignored it :/
I either have a really high tolerance for pain, or am just super scared of looking like a total wuss. I remember being in horrible pain during periods ever since I've had periods. I remember laying on my bed after taking as many advil as my mom would let me, wrapped in a blanket with a heating pad. I would be crying because of the pain, and praying to God to take it away, all while thinking to myself "at least I don't have cramps as bad as my sister, at least I am not throwing up." I struggled with the horrid pains of IBS (irritable bowl syndrome, which is a symptom of endo) when I was in highschool. I remember not bothering taking any advil because I knew it wouldn't even touch the pain. I ended up being impacted to the point of throwing up, not being able to do normal everyday stuff from the pain, but still I didn't want to complain.
When I was in the hospital this past May, I struggled with what to tell the nurses when they asked what my pain level was. I remember the nurse leaving my room after I told her my pain was at a 6 or 7. My husband asked why I was crying, and I said that I was really at a 9, but didn't want to overstate my pain. I was ashamed of understating my pain, but more scared of overstating it and that the nurse might think me weak. Looking back, no one in their right mind would have thought me weak. After all, my organs were being ripped on every time I moved, my abdomen was full of scar tissue, my fallopian tube was on the verge of rupturing, and my pain level was so high the max amount of allowed mophine wouldn't even touch it. Even now, I try to laugh off the endo. I haven't told anyone besides my husband just how scared I am of what the future holds for me. As fast as the endo has progressed these past few months, I think it is looking to be a rather painful life for me.
After I get a BFP, I will be switching to low-carb and start modifing it towards the endo diet. I don't really want to limit my dairy/calcium while pregnant, so I will wait until after the baby is born to do that. I will probably start restricting red meat (boo!) and staying away from all foods that are high in sugar and fructose, and foods that are simple starches. The endo diet is really restrictive, but it will be totally worth it if it controls the endo and gets me close to pain free. Not having caffine won't really effect me much, since I will be staying away from that while pregnant anyway.
I will get into the endo diet later on, once I actually start doing it. I have been doing research on it and will continue to do so. I have read one book on it so far, and plan on buying another book in a few months. This is serious scary stuff, and if I can control it through nutrition instead of surgery every year, why wouldn't I? I would gladly give up all sweets, gluten, caffine, dairy, and red meat if it means I don't have to have surgery regularly to control the spread of the endo.
This has been a long post, but it was a good post. I needed to get some of this off of my chest, and I feel better now. I try to not dwell on this whole topic, but it still gets me down downsometimes. At least right now I have the TTC to obsese over, lol
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