Ack! Another Sunday already! This past week went be very quickly for me, which is strange considering I was oftly hormonal and suffered from some weird mood swings. I sort of lost weight, though who knows how much. Remember last week that my scale was going all funky on me? Well, I counted the lowest weight it gave me even though I knew it was not accurate. 215.5 last week, and the most consistent number I got this time was 216.5. So while it appears that I gained 1 pound from last week I am confident that I lost some and last weeks' number was just wrong (I already figured that, like I stated previously). I am at 3 lbs lost for the month so far, and while 1.5 lbs lost each week is below my goal of 2 lbs, it is still close enough for me. My scale is still not giving accurate readings, I actually got 209.5 several times, but I was pretty sure that I didn't lose that much weight during the week!
I'm not really sure how I feel about my weight loss so far. I know I lost a lot last month, and I am making good steady progress. For some reason though, I have this weird feeling that I am not losing fast enough or working hard enough on losing weight. It is so weird to know in my head that I am doing good, yet on an emotional level feel like I am failing. It is frustrating to say the least! I know that it doesn't help that I've seen a rather noticeable change in my husband's body shape (particularly his gut). He has lost weight much more quickly than me, and for some reason I feel some weird sense of shame and disgust that I am heavier than he is. I know that men in general lose weight faster than women, but for some reason it still really bothers me. I catch him cheating a lot too. He eats more cheese than he by rights should, he drinks way too much coffee, uses too many condiments, doesn't drink enough water and occasionally will eat something very starchy, yet he still loses weight faster than me. It feels so unfair! lol I am happy for him, but envious too.
I am not seeing a difference in the mirror and am really longing to look thinner. I do want to be healthier, but not feeling attractive is really damaging on my self esteem. My husband doesn't really give compliments or notice how I look very often, and when he does it is more lewd than flattering. I pretty much have to go based on what I see and how I feel. I still feel pretty darn fat, even if it is better than it used to be, and I still think I look pretty darn fat, even though I have lost over 30 lbs since November. My jeans fit pretty much the same as they have been for a few weeks now, and I haven't noticed any other clothing fitting better either. That is a bit discouraging, because I am impatient in wanting to lose weight.
A big reason why I want to lose weight is so I can starting thinking about having another baby. I had serious complications with my first baby, and the second baby was in pretty serious condition for 6 hours after birth. I think if I was much healthier, then the pregnancy and baby would both stand a much better chance of going smoothly/being healthier. I have two little girls, and I would really like to try for a baby boy. I always wanted two of each gender, though I would be plenty happy with one little boy. I would be happy if I had another little girl honestly, but the hope would be for a boy this next time. Family is very important to me, and before getting married my husband and I agreed that we would aim for 4 kids (originally he wanted 3 and I wanted 6, so we compromised). Emergency cesarean may have complicated my having 4 babies, but I still want to try for a 3rd. I have to get my health in order first, so it does frustrate me enormously when I feel like I am not losing weight quickly enough.
I have been taking the GNC Hair, Skin, and Nails pills faithfully for two weeks now. I do believe I'm seeing a difference in my nails already. I wasn't expecting to see any results for another week at least, so this is exciting! A nail broke last night, and a bit disappointed about it I went about clipping my nails. My nails are usually pretty weak, they peal, split and are soft. I was surprised when it was difficult to clip through my finger nails! All my nails were harder, especially my thumb nails. My right thumb nail was down right a pain in the butt to get clipped, I have never encountered that problem before! I am very happy that the pills are making a difference in my nails, and am excited to see what they do for my hair eventually. My husband is taking the pills too, but hasn't made any comments to me if he has noticed a difference (not that he would).
I deep conditioned my hair with coconut oil for the second time. Even though I used less oil and left it in for 40 minutes instead of 60 it still wouldn't rinse out with warm water as claimed. I had to use a bit of shampoo to get most of the oil out, and even then is has a bit of a greasy feel to it in spots. Next time I will use even less oil. I do think it works wells, but I just need to find the perfect amount to use for my hair type and length.
A not so fun side effect of low-carb living can be bowel issues. Both my husband and myself have been having problems with constipation this past week. Constipation is usually thought to be because the person isn't getting enough fiber, but seeing as how starches aren't allowed, you can't really have lots of fiber on a low-carb diet/lifestyle. You would have to eat way more vegetables than are allowed to get the fiber content as well. After a bit of research on the internet I found that the issue is not enough fat and/or water in the diet, NOT a lack of fiber. I never really thought about it before, but that makes a lot of sense. Fat in the diet coats the intestine and works as a lubricant, and when you are dehydrated your body sucks all the moisture it can out of your food, leaving you with pebble poop.
Thinking about how fiber causes you to have loose stool, made me realize that it honestly doesn't seem like a great idea. Fiber is not digestible, so it goes straight through your body causing your stool to pass more quickly. Why would you purposefully eat something that your body has no use for (like cereal that looks like little hay bales, lol)? At least with the fat and the water you know that your body actually uses it. Sugar alcohols can also act like a laxative much like fiber does. They are metabolized like alcohol (yup, in the liver) and so have little to no effect on your blood glucose, but they go straight through you and can cause diarrhea. Sugar alcohol can cause horrible stomach cramping and diarrhea if you eat too much of it, especially if you are sensitive to it. I don't think it makes a very good laxative because of the stomach pain, gas, and bloating that can come with it. I try to avoid sugar alcohols in general, but some of those Atkins bars are pretty darn tasty for a once-in-a-while treat :D The coconut ones are pretty much like Mounds candy bars and are my favorite of the ones I've tried so far (they are expensive though at more than $6 for a box of 5 bars).
Here's hoping for a better week! :)
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